Monday, November 11, 2013


A fallacy, plain and simple, equals deception.

There are so many people walking around leading a life full of fallacies.  Many are unable to distinguish their reality from their "imagined reality." My mother used to tell me to "wake up and stop living in fantasy land."  She was not trying to stifle my creative side, but to get me to look at my life and situations as they really are (were) and not in the image that I was creating in my mind.

Don't get me wrong, I do not mean dreams.  Dreams are great if they are attainable goals.  Not the kind of dreams that are full of uncertainties and a waste of time and energy.  Fantasies are things that we make up in our minds over time and in some strange way, some begin to "live" their perceived fantasy out.  However, do you realize that the only person that you confuse or better yet fool, is yourself?  

Fallacies hold no real sustenance and add nothing to our lives.  Ask yourself "what is my reality?"  If your reality has things or people in it that add no real, lasting value to your lives, then "clean house."  Realize that change comes from within.  Fix what is broken and begin to live your real life.  

Is the fallacy that you lead actually someone else's reality?  There are so many "reality" shows on television right now that many people set themselves up to try and lead the very lives that they see played out on the screen. However, have you really looked at their reality?  What is that persons life like when the cameras are off?  Have you ever thought that maybe they would like to change 'their reality?'  

Reading has always been a passion and hobby of mine since childhood because it allows you to see yourself in that 'moment.'  Some books I probably should not have read at a young and impressionable age, however, I completely understand my mother's logic.  Sometimes I would get so wrapped up into what I was reading and seeing in my mind that I would interject the fantasy into my in the moment, real life.

I soon came to realize that while I was imagining my life being one way, I was not really living my "reality."  I looked at love a certain way (through rose colored glasses) instead of realizing that as much as love is wonderful, sometimes it comes with pain.  I believed that all men should automatically be romantically inclined, but the reality is that some just don't get it and it is a process.  Marriage to me was something that was forever and would make me complete, however the reality is that both people would have to commit fully to the work involved and you find completeness within yourself first.  Having someone to share your life with just adds to you/it.

Waking up and living my reality was hard at times when I was younger because I preferred it to end like some of the books I was reading.  But my reality has not been so horrible that I want to check completely out of it.  It has had it's ups and downs, pleasures and pain, love and loss, and so on.  But my reality is my reality and no one can live my reality better than I can.

So stop living someone else's your own.  Make your reality the best life for you.  

Don't be confused by the "one size fits all mentality"; it is so far from the truth.  What works for me may not work for you and what works for you may not work for me, but that is okay.  

My reality?  I would love to write professionally and touch peoples lives in some way (no matter how large or small). I love my family even though sometimes I wish I could trade some of them in for better models, but they are my family nonetheless.  I enjoy my career and the people that I work with/for.  I love to laugh and have a sense of humor that I should be paid for.  I love to work out but don't do it like I should.  Cooking is a source of stress relief for me and I am doing more of that now.  I still cry every day from the loss of my mother but I smile because I look forward to seeing her again.  I had a husband, that now in looking back, was not the better man for me.  I love myself and I am content with being single (but I am not opposed to love and marriage).  I have sister-friends that I would do anything for and know that when they say "I love you" and "I got you" they mean it.  I may not be as financially sound as I would like to be, but I am not lacking in my necessities of life.

Do you know someone that isn't living their reality?  Is that someone you?  It takes too much time trying to live someone else's reality.  I might as well use that time living, creating, and enjoying my own reality.

So...nice to meet you.

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